Match Game Episode 1 AKA An Event 4 Or 6 Years In The Making

After FOUR. LONG. YEARS, and coming to acceptance that I would never see another episode of Match Game again, it was time to watch the first episode of Season 6 of Match Game! The excitement that I was feeling at this moment was unlike anything that I had felt for any show since at least February when the latest season of The Masked Singer premiered, although I still don’t think that’s a good comparison because it’s always a couple of months before The Masked Singer returns, and again, it had been four years since there was any new Match Game episodes. I was so happy that the show was coming back, and with a host as funny and iconic as Martin Short. And after watching the episode, I can safely say that it was just as good as the Alec Baldwin version. Before I get into the episode, I will let you all know which celebrities were panelists, as well as their claim to fame for those of you who don’t know who they are.

Selena Gomez - I do not need to explain who she is, as I am positive that all of you reading know who she is.

Cara Delevingne - actress and model who costarred with Martin Short on Only Murders In The Building.

Kevin Nealon - actor and comedian known for being on Saturday Night Live.

Anthony Anderson - actor and comedian known for starring in Black-ish.

Ziwe - actress, comedian, author, and interviewer.

BD Wong - actor who has starred in Jurassic Park, Father of the Bride, Law & Order SVU, and many other shows and movies.

It was made clear almost immediately what kind of show this was going to be, as Martin Short introduced himself as Timothee Chalamet, saying that he knew everyone was thinking he used Kris Jenner’s plastic surgeon, and then saying the people who had joined him were the biggest stars in entertainment, and also Anthony Anderson. Unlike the Alec Baldwin version, where he would talk to three celebrities before the first game and the other three before the second game, Martin instead spoke to all six celebrities briefly right at the beginning of the show, while also checking in again at other points. Some highlights included Martin saying that Selena started acting in 2002, which is also the same year the Oscars started prepping his in memoriam package, and Selena then said that she told him she would be his caregiver, Cara saying that Martin’s outfit was giving Diane Keaton/lesbian my new girlfriend/seasonal weatherman, insulting Kevin Nealon in a way that I don’t feel comfortable writing, saying that Anthony Anderson has the softest hands he has ever shaken, asking Ziwe, who was one of the youngest celebrities there, who on the panel didn’t get her generation and why was it Kevin Nealon, and literally talking to BD Wong as his character from Father of the Bride. 

From there, the first two contestants were brought out. The first contestant we were introduced to was Jordan, who was also a drag queen who went by the name Misty Waterfalls. The second contestant we were introduced to was Joy, who immediately told Martin that he was cute and that he had been in her dreams since she found out he was going to be there. Martin then brought up the fact that her name was Joy Blessing, and she explained that many years ago, her husband said she was such a joy and blessing in her life, and when he passed away, she legally changed her name to that. 

Martin then made his first insulting comment to the contestants by saying that he hoped they would both win, but one of them would be a big, fat loser. Then, Martin went to the podium where the questions are kept, and either struggled or pretended to struggle to get the first slot to go down. 

From there, it was time for the first question of the season, which was “Cara Delevingne is ridiculously famous, and so are her eyebrows. They’re so famous they’ve been seen walking the red carpet at the ___________.” Me and my parents both figured the answer would be something like the Oscars. Much like the Alec Baldwin version, there was much banter going on between the host and the panelists as they were writing their answers, as Anthony Anderson asked Cara where would her eyebrows walk, and Cara responded a Eugene Levy lookalike contest, and Selena also said that she was excited, as she used to watch the 60s version in her trailer with Gene Rayburn, and the reason she was on the panel was because she was a fan, not because of Martin. 

After that, Joy gave her answer, which was the Oscars. She immediately matched with Selena, but didn’t match with Cara, who said Met Ball, which Martin said was a good answer, but didn’t help anyone. Kevin then revealed his answer, and prefaced it by saying that his handwriting was horrible before showing that he wrote Oscars, and the funny part was that his handwriting looked amazing. Anthony then revealed his answer, which was the AVN Convention in Las Vegas, which he then explained was for adult videos, and he was then made fun of for not helping Joy. Ziwe then revealed her answer, and in channeling Joy’s energy and her mind, she wrote Sex With Marty, at which point Anthony said he didn’t understand her answer to the question, and Kevin said that it was a great award show where nobody wins. BD Wong then said that it could get worse than Ziwe’s answer, and showed that he wrote International Threading Convention, which prompted Cara to say that everyone was being very literal, and Martin to say “You know that you want to match them and help them, right?”

After that, it was time for Jordan’s question, which was “Chad said ‘My safe word is vanilla.’ The lady at the bank said ‘Great, I’m happy for you, but all I need is your ___________.” My parents came up with many things that a person would need at a bank, and I also had to explain to my mom what a safe word was. I also found it funny that while the celebrities were writing their answers, Kevin started waving his card back and forth, saying that it was a little wet, to which Martin replied that it was going to dry. 

After that, Jordan gave his answer, which was I.D. Selena then showed that she wrote I.D. with a question mark at the end, which I thought was kind of funny. Cara then showed that she wrote Hard Cash, which did not match. When Martin got to Kevin, he said that they needed two things, which were for him to dress for the show, because while he was glad that his car was all fixed up and mechanically working, everyone there hoped he would dress, and the second thing was that they needed his answer. He then revealed his answer, which was I.D., but he also wrote a “U” above it, which he crossed out. Anthony then showed that he also wrote I.D. Ziwe then revealed her answer, which was Money. BD then revealed his answer, which was Password. 

When the show came back from commercial break, Martin Short announced that Anthony Anderson was there, proving once again that if you just keep showing up, someone will eventually put you on camera. 

Since Jordan was ahead by a score of 3-2, this meant that he would be going first in the second round, where he would only be able to match with Cara Delevingne, Ziwe, and BD Wong. Martin then pretended to struggle with pushing the buttons that made the slots go down again. 

The next question was “You always hear about people getting murdered on The White Lotus. That’s why I stay at the Jaleel White Lotus, where you get nerdy Urkel vibes, and housekeeping always leaves ___________ on your pillow.” I figured that the obvious answer to the question would be Cheese, as Urkel was famous for loving cheese. During the time when the celebrities were writing their answers, Anthony and Ziwe said his famous catchphrase “Did I do that,” which I would quickly find out was the extent of their knowledge about him.

After that, Jordan gave his answer, which was glasses, which is also a good answer. Much to my surprise, all three celebrities seemed to know absolutely nothing about Urkel and said “Chocolates” as their answer, which surprised me in the case of BD Wong, as he was one of the older celebrities there. Even Martin Short made fun of their answer, as he said that when you think of Urkel, you think of chocolate. 

After that, it was time for Joy’s second question, and she needed one to tie and two to win, as she had already matched with Selena and Kevin. 

The question was “In throuple news, Adam and Eve are looking for a third. Applicants must be cool with nudity, heavy gardening, and ____________.” I found it funny that Kevin asked him what does throuple mean, and never got an answer, and that when Anthony was going over the question again, he said that heavy gardening means that somebody is hairy, at which point Martin said you’re supposed to keep these thoughts to yourself.

After that, Joy gave her answer, which was Snakes, which I feel is the obvious answer. Cara said that she went very PG with her answer and wrote Snakes, which tied the scores up. Anthony tried to write down Orgasms, but he didn’t know how to spell it, so he wrote Organisms, and then either got some help as to how to spell it or suddenly remembered, and wrote Orgasms underneath. Ziwe then revealed that she had written down Snakes, which gave Joy the win, and BD also showed that he had written down Sins as his answer.

After that, it was time for Super Match, where Joy had a chance to win $25,000. Martin then asked her how she would best waste that money, other than the obvious medication she should be on, and she answered that she would get a new glamma-mobile. They started with an Audience Match, and in something I will never understand, they polled the Match Game home audience. This is something that started in the last season of the Alec Baldwin version, and I still had no idea how it worked then, as I feel that I would have been part of every poll then, and I don’t know what audience they could have polled for this season. Anyway, they polled the Match Game home audience and got their most popular responses to “Just For _________.” When I first saw that on the board, I completely drew a blank for answers, yes, pun completely intended. My parents did say some answers like “Kicks” and “Fun,” so that gave me some idea of what was up there. Martin Short then explained that the third most popular answer would get her $2,000, the second most popular answer would get her $3,000, and the most popular answer would get her $5,000. To help her with suggestions, she could enlist the aid of three celebrities. She started with Selena, who said “Fun,” then chose Kevin, who said “Laughs,” and then chose Ziwe, who said “Kicks.” Martin then told her that she could choose one of their three answers or give one of her own, and she chose to go with “Laughs,” which my parents initially thought was not good, and they even said that it wouldn’t be up there, but it was the $2,000 answer. The $3,000 answer was “You,” and the $5,000 answer was “Fun.” So Joy now had $2,000, but she had the chance to multiply it by five with the Celebrity Head To Head Match, and if she matched one celebrity exactly, she would win $10,000, and she chose to try to match Selena as her answer was the $5,000 answer. Selena then had to write down her answer to “Cat _________,” and a million answers came to me and my parents, such as “Woman,” “Nip,” “Fight,” and “Dog.” After Selena had locked in her answer, Joy gave her answer, which was “Nip,” and Selena then revealed that she wrote “Fish,” which meant that Joy didn’t make a match, but she still won $2,000.

After that, it was time for the second game, and when the show came back from commercial, Martin started off by asking Kevin what he was drinking, to which he responded scotch and soda, to which Martin responded back by asking him if the A.A. thing doesn’t work for him anymore. He then told Anthony that he looked fantastic, to which he responded back by saying that he looked fantastic too and asked him if he was going to wear a vest every episode. 

After that, the contestants for the second game were brought out. The first one we were introduced to was Missy, who is a preschool teacher and a senior fitness instructor for 90 year olds. Martin then asked her if she wanted to get Kevin in shape, what would she do, and she said that she would advise him to get some weights and start doing some bicep curls, at which point Kevin flexed his biceps so hard that he almost fell out of his chair. The second contestant we were introduced to was Kwame, who works at an African market in New Jersey that he has been at for 20 years with his family.

From there, it was time for the first question of this game, which was “Dr. Seuss wrote the beloved children’s book Oh the Places You’ll Go, but he also wrote a version for senior citizens titled Oh the Places You’ll ___________.” My parents said things like “Go To The Bathroom” and “Nap.” During the time when the celebrities were writing their answers, Martin found another way to insult Kevin, who was last to put his answer in the slot, by saying that he was bringing the show down. 

From there, Kwame gave his answer, which was “Sleep,” which is basically what my parents said. After Martin said that it was a great answer, Anthony immediately said that he wasn’t sure he would say that it was a great answer. Selena revealed her answer first, saying that it was morbid and then revealing that she wrote “Die.” Cara then revealed that she also wrote “Die,” which prompted Anthony to yell that they were cheating, at which point Martin told Anthony he wanted him to calm down. Kevin then revealed that he wrote “Poop,” which he said was speaking from experience. Anthony then revealed that he wrote “Forget.” Ziwe then revealed that she also wrote “Die.” BD then revealed that he wrote “Forget To Go,” which meant that Kwame had not matched any of the celebrities. 
After that, it was time for Missy’s first question, which was “Sir Lancelot said, ‘I made the biggest mistake a knight could make - shopping at Temu. The last suit of armor I ordered was a knockoff made from ___________.’” My parents immediately said “Tinfoil” as their answer. After Anthony got his answer in quickly, Martin commented on how fast he was, to which Anthony responded that he was trying to get out of there and had things to do that night. 

From there, Missy gave her answer, which was “Tinfoil.” Selena then revealed her answer, which was Latex, which she said is what she usually orders off of Temu. Cara then revealed her answer, which was Polyester. Kevin then said that someone was finally thinking like he did, but not that time, as he wrote “Cotton.” Anthony then revealed that he wrote “Aluminum Foil,” which was considered a match. Ziwe then revealed her answer to be “Plastic.” BD then revealed his answer to be “Tinfoil,” which was also the only time he matched a contestant during the episode, and also gave Missy two points. Martin then said that it was time to take a break, as his bladder is the size of a thimble, and the only time he doesn’t have to pee is when he is peeing. 

After that, it was time for Round 2, and Missy went first this time, and she could only match with the celebrities she didn’t already match with. Martin then pretended to struggle with the slots again, even making the previous slot start to go back up. 

The first question in this round said “LGBTQ actor BD Wong was made an MD for the FBI on Law & Order SVU. If he had any more letters, we could call him a ____________.” The only answer that my parents could come up with was “Alphabet.”

Missy then gave her answer, which was a “Doctor,” which my parents said was not going to match anyone. Selena then revealed her answer, which was “Queen,” which I do not understand, and as Martin said, is a lovely thing that didn’t help anybody. Cara then revealed her answer, which was “STD,” Kevin then revealed that he wrote “Alphabet,” or as he spelled it, “Alfabet.” Ziwe then revealed that she also wrote “Alphabet.” 

From there, it was time for Kwame’s second question, and he needed two to tie and three to win. The question was a limerick, which said “I once had a dentist named Ruth. Always drunk on gin and vermouth. She revved up the drill, said ‘Lie back and sit still,’ then bored a hole in my ___________, not my tooth.” My parents couldn’t think of anything, and my dad said that it was not a proper limerick. Martin then said that he saw no panelists attempting to answer it, and he continued to make jokes about how long they were taking to write down their answers. 

Kwame then gave his answer, which was “Booth,” which he then clarified meant “Butt.” After this clarification, Martin acted like it was an expression everyone had heard of. Anthony then said that he had never heard it before, but he did know something, which was that, in his words, “Kwame going home.” Selena then revealed her answer, which was “Pants,” which she admitted was a __________ answer, and I think you can all guess what she said. Cara then revealed that her answer was “Skull.” Kevin then revealed his answer was “Achoo,” which is not even a body part. Anthony then revealed her answer was “Chin.” Ziwe then revealed that her answer was “Mouth,” and BD Wong wrote “Face,” which meant that Missy had won. Martin then made a “comforting” comment to Kwame, which was not to think of it as losing, but to think of it as coming in last place.

After that, it was time for the Super Match. Missy then said that if she won $25,000, she would open a fitness studio, so she could have seniors and kids, and it would be a great fitness studio for all ages to come to. Up first was the Audience Match, and the phrase that would have to be completed was “That’s So __________.” As soon as I saw that, I immediately said “Raven,” but my parents didn’t agree, thinking that nobody knew what it was anymore. She then asked the panelists for suggestions, starting with Kevin, who started off by showing his suggestion on a card for some reason, before giving “Cool” as his answer, then asking Anthony, who said “Raven,” and then asking BD, who said “Fly” was all he could think of. Right after that, Cara then said “Fetch,” which Ziwe agreed with. Missy then chose to go with “Raven.” The third most popular answer was then revealed to be “Fetch,” which I am amazed by as I didn’t know that a quote from a movie could really be that popular, and Anthony was completely confused, having no idea what it was, at which point Selena and Cara called him out for not knowing Mean Girls. The second most popular answer was then revealed to be “Funny.” The most popular answer was then revealed to be “Raven,” which gave Missy $5,000, and now she had a chance to multiply it by five with the Celebrity Head To Head Match and get $25,000. She chose to stick with Anthony for this part, and he had to write down his answer to “_________ Wash.” I immediately thought of “Car,” and I was hoping that Missy would to, but then a voice in my head kept saying “Please don’t say ‘Mouth.’” Missy then gave her answer, which was “Car,” and literally immediately after she said it, all six panelists just ERUPTED into cheers at the fact that she had just won $25,000, as opposed to the Alec Baldwin version, where they would always draw it out. I love it whenever a contestant wins on Match Game, especially when they win as much money as they possibly can, so I’m happy that Missy won $25,000 and that she can now open her gym. As she was celebrating so much, she said that her mouth was so dry, so Selena got her a glass of water, and said “I didn’t drink it, so it’s fine,” and then Missy said “I wouldn’t care if you did,” which I thought was a very sweet and wholesome moment.

Overall, this was a great return and premiere for my favorite game show, and I’ll see you all in the next episode!