Match Game Episode 3 AKA The One Where The Insult Comic Dog Puppet Is Not The Craziest One There

After an amazing episode last week, it was time for the third episode of Season 6 of Match Game! I was looking forward to this one, as it marked the return of one of the best regular panelists on the Alec Baldwin version, and several other celebrities who had been great on other game shows. Before I get into the episode, I will go over who the celebrity panelists were, and explain who they are for those of you who are unfamiliar with them. 

Ego Nwodim - current Saturday Night Live cast member.

Jackie Tohn - actress known for starring in GLOW and Nobody Wants This.

Triumph The Insult Comic Dog - puppet character who is an insult comic known for his appearances on Conan O’Brien’s talk shows and his many involvements in presidential elections.

Andrea Martin - actress, comedian, and singer known for starring in SCTV, My Big Fat Greek Wedding, Only Murders in the Building, and her many Broadway roles.

Thomas Lennon - actor, comedian, and screenwriter known for starring in Reno 911 and the revival of The Odd Couple, and for writing the Night at the Museum films.

Pete Holmes - actor, comedian, and podcast host known for starring in and creating Crashing, and for hosting the podcast You Made It Weird.

The episode started off funny, as Martin Short started by saying that of all the people he admires in show business, the six panelists were very close to being some of them. 

He started off by talking to Ego Nwodim in a fancy voice, and she responded to him in a fancy voice as well. 

He then started talking to Jackie Tohn, saying that she starred in Nobody Wants This, which is also what he said when he saw Triumph’s OnlyFans page. 

He then started talking to Triumph, asking him if he met his dog Reggie, before insulting Triumph himself, saying that he not only drinks from the toilet bowl, he also eats from the toilet bowl, and even the worms in his stool have type two diabetes, which is how fat Triumph is. Triumph then said that Martin Short was the funniest man alive, before saying that he said that because he assumed the show was going to air very soon and Martin is very old. 


He then introduced Andrea Martin as his sister-in-law, and she then complimented him in the nicest way imaginable, to which he responded by thanking her for preparing for what to say in advance.


He then introduced Thomas Lennon by saying that what he loves about him is that when he’s at a dinner party, he’s not afraid to yell out that he’s bored, to which Thomas then started drinking two different wines from two different glasses, to which he explained by saying he didn’t know what entree he was getting. 

He then introduced Pete Holmes by saying that he has taped five comedy specials, before asking if he had any plans to release them, which caused Pete to pretend to start crying, to which Martin said they had to go back for one second, cut to Pete, and then fake laugh.

He then said that of all the celebrity panels assembled for a show, this was definitely one of them. 

After that, we were introduced to the two contestants of the first game. 

The first contestant we were introduced to was Michael, who is an event mixologist, meaning that he creates signature cocktails for weddings, birthday parties, and he bases them off celebrities, movies, and his favorite things. 

The second contestant we were introduced to was Katie, who is a stay at home mom to two boys, and then she mentioned that she also has a husband, and described it as having three male roommates.

After that, it was time for the first question of the game, which was for Katie. The question was “Max said, ‘My wife’s so obsessed with game shows, she can’t stop quoting them in bed. Just the other night, she shouted ___________.” While the celebrities were writing their answers, Andrea said she was a little frightened, Ego said she was cheating off someone else’s card, and when the celebrities were locking in their answers, he told Triumph “No rush,” to which Triumph responded that he was so close. After that, we got our first moment that showed us how funny and crazy Pete Holmes is, as he asked Martin if he could predict something, which was that there was going to be zero matches for that question.

After that, it was time for Katie to give her answer, which was “Final Answer.” The audience then started clapping, and from there, Pete asked if they were clapping for his prediction, because that was the only thing to celebrate at that time, which I found very funny. 

Ego then revealed that she wrote something very close to “Final Answer,” which was “I’m Alex Trebek.” 

Jackie then revealed that she wrote “It’s A Match.”

Triumph then revealed that the lady that was the subject of the question watches Martin host Match Game, and so she said “Why Am I Doing This?”


Andrea then revealed that she wrote “The Price Is Right.” 


Thomas then revealed that his answer was really close to “Final Answer,” and it was “Can I Buy A Vowel?”

Pete then revealed that his prediction was close, as he wrote “Wheel! Of! Fortune!”

Martin then said that all the panelists were idiots, and while he did have a drink, he was not going to be judged. Pete then weighed in by reminding him that Michael was a mixologist and could make him a special cocktail, The Short Martini made with three kinds of Jiminy Glicker. 

Martin then told Michael that it was going to be tough to beat Katie because she got nothing, and then read the question. The question was “Are you a recently divorced man who loves his mom? Then move into the Oedipus Complex. Each chic, high tech bachelor pad comes with a life sized ____________ of your mom. I already had an answer in my brain, which was “Blowup Doll,” but I didn’t feel comfortable saying it in front of my parents for obvious reasons. Ego was clearly disturbed by the question, as she stammered her words for a bit before asking “What in the world is going on?” Pete then started explaining it to her, saying “You’re in love with your mom,” and then telling her that if she wanted the answer, he had the answer, to which she responded “That’s bad,” to which he said again “That’s the answer.” Thomas then weighed in on the conversation by saying “We don’t know that’s true.” Martin then asked Triumph if he loved his mother, to which Triumph responded “Of course I loved my mother. Even though she was a bitch.” 


After that, Michael gave his answer, which was “Robot.” Pete then responded that he understood why he gave that answer, as he was focusing on the “High Tech” part. 


Ego then revealed that she wrote “Replica And Or Cutout,” to which followed that up by saying that she did two answers and they were both wrong. 


Jackie then revealed that she also wrote Cardboard Cutout.

Triumph then said that he had the correct answer, which was an “Appropriately Inappropriate Answer,” which was “Blowup Doll.” 

Martin then said that he was hopeful for Michael with the bottom row, to which Andrea said that he would want to start on the other side. Martin then told her that wasn’t how it was going to work, to which Thomas responded “It’s a weird answer coming up. Get ready.” This was certainly not an understatement, because Andrea then revealed that she wrote “Brassiere.” 

Thomas then said that he tried to under-think it, and revealed that he wrote “Sculpture.” 


Pete then said that he felt very strongly that there was a correct answer to the question, which he revealed was “Bust,” because it has the double meaning, as it’s a sculpture, and it’s also her breasts. This meant that after Round 1, neither contestant had scored a single point. 

After that, the show came back from commercial break, and Martin asked Triumph if he was having any fun, to which Triumph responded by asking if anyone could hear his jokes, which Martin responded back to by saying they were hearing them, but unfortunately, they were hearing them. 

From there, it was time for Michael’s second question, which was “Did you hear? Noah’s Ark was actually a swinger’s cruise. That’s a hot mess of animals. There was only one rule - no ___________ing on the deck.” From there, I knew that the correct answer was “Humping.” While the celebrities were locking in their answers, Martin asked them how they thought Michael would do in this round, to which Pete responded that he thought Michael would get two points this time. 

After that, Michael gave his answer, which was “Humping,” to which Pete Holmes said that it was a camel pun and an animal sex pun, which meant he was playing the game correctly. All the panelists also said “Humping” or some variation on it, as Jackie wrote “Shtupping,” Triumph wrote “Missionary,” and Pete came up with the same answer, but a different joke, because it was a different animal, and wrote “Porking.” He also told Andrea that he thought she was going to write the French word for panties, so he thanked her for finally playing the game correctly. 

After that, it was time for Katie’s second question, which was “Confused Carrie is pretty easy to confuse. When someone told her it was chilly outside, instead of a coat, she grabbed ___________.” The first answer that I came up with was “Spoon,” which is what you use to eat chili. 

After everyone had locked in their answers, Katie gave her answer, which was “Bowl,” which is another good answer. Unfortunately, she needed to match all six panelists, and three of them wrote “Spoon,” one wrote “Ladle,” one wrote “Nachos,” and then we get to Andrea. 

Let me just say this right now, you are not prepared for what you are about to read. It is one of the most insane things I will ever write. 

After Michael had already won, all the panelists revealed what they had written, except for Andrea. The other panelists told her to show what she wrote, and Thomas started to put her card up for her despite her protests, which made me think that she was the only celebrity who wrote “Bowl” and didn’t want to embarrass Katie after she had already lost. This could not have been further from the case, and when I first saw what she wrote, I laughed HARD. Andrea’s answer to the question “Confused Carrie is pretty easy to confuse. When someone told her it was chilly outside, instead of a coat, she grabbed ___________” was “Goat.” Yes, that is actually what she wrote. I could not explain this to you even if I tried, and the only explanation that I can even slightly come up with is that it rhymes with coat, but even then it still makes no sense. 

After that, it was time for the Super Match. It started with an Audience Match, where they polled the Match Game Home Audience and got their most popular responses to “Teddy __________.” As always, the third most popular answer was worth $2,000, the second most popular answer was worth $3,000, and the most popular answer was worth $5,000. When I first saw what the Audience Match was, I thought there were only two answers, and I had no idea what a third one could be. He then asked three celebrities for suggestions, and started with Jackie, who said “Bear.” He then chose Thomas, who said “Roosevelt.” The third celebrity he chose was Andrea, which Pete criticized, as he was going with person “whose guess on the chilly one was ‘Goat.’” Andrea then gave her answer, which was “Grahams,” which prompted Martin to ask Michael if he could go back in time, would he have picked Andrea. 


Michael then chose to go with “Bear” as his answer. They then showed that the third most popular answer was “Swims,” and it was clear that a majority of the panelists and Martin himself had no idea who he was. The second most popular answer was then revealed to be “Roosevelt,” which is what I expected. The most popular answer was then revealed to be “Bear,” which is also what I expected, and it also gave Michael $5,000. 


From there, it was time for the Celebrity Head To Head Match, and Michael chose to match with Jackie again, who had to write down her answer to “__________ Pit.” From there, many answers occurred to me and my parents, such as “Money,” “Mosh,” and “Arm.” 
After Jackie locked in her answer, Michael gave his answer, which was “Arm.” Jackie then revealed that she wrote down “Arm,” which meant that Michael had just won $25,000. 

After that, it was time for the second game and time to meet the next two contestants. 
The first contestant we were introduced to was Paul, who was born in Jamaica and lives in Ottawa.

The second contestant we were introduced to was Nikita, who is a senior financial analyst who loves numbers so much that she has a tattoo of Pi on her hands, and she can also solve a Rubik’s Cube in under five minutes. 


From there, it was time for Nikita’s first question, and when asked if she wanted Question A or B, she said that she wanted B for BMW. The question was “My new favorite pop star is Sabrina Carpenter’s grandma. While Sabrina sings about espresso, her grandma is serving listeners a cup of _____________.” From there, my parents were pretty sure that the answer was “Tea.” 


After all the panelists had locked in their answers, Nikita gave her answer, which was “Metamucil,” which my parents thought was a terrible answer, and clearly so did Triumph, as his response to her saying that was “Oh _______.” You can probably guess what he said. Pete then said that her answer was slightly irregular, before saying that his tour dates were on his website. 


Ego then revealed that she wrote “Tea.”


Jackie then said that “Metamucil” was such a weird answer, before revealing that had also written that as her answer. 


Triumph then revealed that he wrote “Chicken Soup” as his answer, after saying that he went a certain way with his answer, which I am not going to repeat.

Andrea then revealed that she wrote “Tea.” The fact that Ego and Andrea wrote the same answer prompted the panelists, the audience, and even Nikita to start chanting for them to kiss, which they did. Then Martin did the same for Thomas and Pete, which they did. Then Martin did the same for Triumph and Pete, which they did, which also resulted in Triumph’s cigar ending up in Pete’s mouth.

Thomas then revealed that he wrote “Joe,” which is another name for Coffee for those of you that don’t know. 

Pete then revealed that he wrote “Weak Tea” as his answer. 

From there, it was time for Paul’s first question. The question was “It’s a well known fact aliens have been visiting us for years looking for porn. They’ve grown tired of their selection with titles like Black Hole 2, Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Twink, and Houston We Have A ____________.” First of all, I am shocked that they were allowed to say the word “Twink,” and those of you who know what that word means will probably agree with me. Second of all, this was a question that my parents refused to give an answer for. I did come up with an answer, but all I will say is that more than one celebrity wrote it. 

After all the celebrities had locked in their answers, Paul gave his answer, which was “Orgasm.” 

Ego then revealed that she wrote “Boner.”

Jackie then revealed that she was trying to be clever and wrote “Probe-Lem.”
Triumph then revealed that he wrote “Three-Way.”

Andrea then revealed that she wrote “Bulge In Your Pants,” which prompted Martin to ask her “What is your problem?” She then said that it was a wonderful idea, a group of people got together and said “Andrea Martin will be good,” and now they were all back there saying “What were we thinking?”

Thomas then revealed that he accidentally wrote down the correct answer, as he said “Boner.”
Pete then revealed that he wrote “Boner,” which meant that at the end of Round 1, Nikita had one point and Paul didn’t have any.

After that, it was time for Round 2, which meant that it was time for Nikita’s second question, and she could match with the other five panelists. The question was “Russia has a new leader, Vladimir Tutin, the self-declared sultan of stink. His first act as president - invade Finland and rename it ___________land.” After he finished reading it, Martin said that for this question, they needed an exact match. Me and my parents quickly decided that the correct answer was “Fart.” While the celebrities were locking in their answers, Ego said to Thomas “You really think Nikita’s going to say that,” to which Thomas responded that he was doing his best. Pete then told Nikita “Don’t over-stink it,” to which he followed that up by again saying “My tour dates are on my website.” Martin then responded to that by saying that it was like Lenny Bruce was back. 


After that, all the celebrities had locked in their answers and Nikita gave her answer, which was a censored word for “Poop.” 


Ego then revealed that she wrote “Fart.”


Triumph then complained about the exact match rule for the question, as his answer was technically a match, and he said that Poland was already taken, so his answer was “Poo-Land,” which was not an exact match with what Nikita said.


Andrea then revealed that she wrote “End.” 

Thomas then revealed that he overthought it and wrote “Helstinki.” 

Pete then revealed that he wrote “Fart,” which meant that Nikita did not score any more points during this round.

From there, it was time for Paul’s second question, and he needed one point to tie and two points to win. His second question was “I’ve known Andrea Martin for an insane amount of time. In fact, the first known picture of us hanging out can be found on the wall of a _____________.” I focused too much on the idea that they had known each other for a very long time, and my first answer was “Daycare,” but my parents quickly noticed that they were going for the joke that they were both old and said “Cave.” While the panelists were locking in their answers, Martin asked Ego what she was doing to which she responded, with much mumbling, that she was talking to her friend Jackie, to which Martin responded that she was so close to her that she had to stammer through her name, to which Ego explained that she had 1 and 1/8 of a gin and tonic. 

After all the panelists had locked in their answers, Paul gave his answer, which was “Museum.”

Ego then revealed that she wrote “Cave,” to which Triumph responded “Because of the Stone Age, you see?”


Jackie then revealed that she also wrote “Cave.”


Triumph then revealed that he literally wrote “Cave Because The Stone Age You See.”

Andrea then said that she does her best, to which Thomas responded by saying that she has two Tony Awards, and she then revealed that she wrote the VERY bizarre answer of “Dinosaur’s Rock.” Andrea tried to explain it by saying that it was late, and Martin then made fun of her by saying “You assumed that Paul would say ‘Dinosaur’s Rock,’” to which Andrea said that she was going to say “Bathroom,” but then she thought that maybe there weren’t any yet when they first met, before telling him to move on to somebody else.


Thomas then said that as the author of “Night at the Museum,” he wrote what a normal person would write, which is “Cave.” 


Pete then said that museums have modern art, and then revealed that he wrote “Cave,” which was, in his words, the correct answer. This meant that Nikita had won the game.


After that, it was time for the Super Match. Martin then asked Nikita what she would do if she won $25,000, to which she responded that she was going to use the money to buy a car so she didn’t have to share one with her husband, soup it up, and she already had the license plates made, which said “Genius.” Martin then asked her if she was happily married, and she said she was, and then he responded that she wouldn’t be anymore after her husband saw the show. 


It was then time for an Audience Match, and the Match Game Home Audience was polled and they got their most popular responses to “____________ Call.” Me and my parents then said three different answers, which were “Booty,” “Last,” and “Phone.” Nikita then had to choose three celebrities to help her with suggestions, and she started with Jackie, who said “Phone.” She then chose Pete, because she wanted to go to his shows, to which he responded that tickets were still available, and he then gave “Crank” as his answer. Her third choice was Triumph, who said “House.”
Nikita then chose to go with “Phone,” which I felt was the best answer of the three. The $2,000 answer was then revealed to be “Booty,” the $3,000 answer was revealed to be “Last,” and the $5,000 answer was revealed to be “Phone,” which meant that Nikita had won $5,000. I was just amazed that between the three of us, me and my parents gave all the answers that were on the board. 

Then, it was time for the Celebrity Head To Head Match, and Nikita chose to match Jackie again who had to write her answer to “Spray __________.” When I saw that on the board, pun completely intended, I drew a blank on anything being an answer. My parents then said two answers which were “Bottle” and “Tan.” Nikita then gave her answer, which was “Paint,” which was a good answer, but unfortunately, it didn’t match Jackie, who wrote “Tan.” This meant that Nikita didn’t win $25,000, but she still had $5,000. In a funny turn of events, Andrea then revealed that she had actually written down “Paint.” I find it funny that during the entire show, she was giving the most bizarre answers imaginable, and one of the few times she gave a correct answer was when she wasn’t playing at all. 

Overall, this was another great episode of Match Game, and I’ll see you all next week with the next episode!