Most Bizarre Panelists On Match Game

Hello everybody!

Writing about Match Game last week was so much fun, I decided to do it again!

As I’m sure you’re probably aware, the show has six celebrity panelists on every episode, and for the most part, they range from costars and friends of the host, celebrities who have made their way along the game show circuit, and actors and comedians who star in popular shows and movies at the time. 

But sometimes, they have celebrities that don’t fall under these categories, and are just bizarre choices. Like the kind of celebrities that make you go “What? Why are you on this show? How did anybody even think of you?” And the Baldwin version was amazing at this, as at least every other episode in a season, sometimes in more than one taping in a day with three tapings, there would be bizarre choices for celebrity panelists. So today, I am going to go over some of the most bizarre choices, discuss what makes them so bizarre, and whether or not they were any good.

The first bizarre choice comes from the very first episode of Season 2, Martha Stewart. Yes, I know that she is some sort of icon, but she could not have been more out of place on Match Game, as she definitely had no idea where she was, gave answers that made no sense, and only matched one time out of a total of eight times.

Some highlights of her time on the show include her responses to these questions:

“Lonely Lorna was so lonely, she started dating her Roomba, but the relationship ended when the Roomba caught Lorna in bed with a ___________.” Any normal person would answer some type of similar cleaning product, but Martha Stewart answered “Mangle.” For those of you who don’t know what that is, which is all of you, it’s a laundry machine featuring two or more heavy rollers that are used to press, flatten, and remove water from wet clothing, sheets, and linens. Yes, that old fashioned machine was her answer, and she supposedly thought the contestant would say it. But if you thought that was bizarre, wait until you see the next one.

“Even though they don’t have Instagram yet, trendy Amish kids are all about hashtagging. They walk around saying ‘Hashtag no __________.’” Any answer could be acceptable, but Martha’s answer of “Scrapple” was definitely not. As none of you reading this know what it is, scrapple is a mush made of fried pork scraps and trimmings. I have no idea how Martha even thought of this, or why she even thought that it would match. That being said, it led to one of the funniest lines from Alec Baldwin afterwards, who said to the audience “How much do you want to bet that Martha’s next answer ends in -le?”

And then came the Audience Match, where the contestant chose her for a suggestion for “Crash _________.” There are only a few answers to this, but “Bang” is definitely not one of them. I don’t even know what it means.

The next bizarre choice for a celebrity panelist came a few episodes later with Neil deGrasse Tyson, who despite being an astrophysicist and being generally smart, only managed to match with a contestant on ONE QUESTION IN THE TWO EPISODES HE WAS ON, which also led to one of the funniest moments of the show with Adam Pally getting increasingly frustrated with how he was playing the game and making fun of him, which is saying a lot considering how Adam Pally was at the game, especially in the Martin Short version.

The next bizarre choice for a celebrity panelist came in the next season, which was Lynda Carter. For those of you who have no idea who she is, which I imagine is every one of you, Lynda Carter was the original Wonder Woman on TV in the 1970s. That pretty much sums up the majority of her career, as all she has done since is random guest appearances in random shows, with an occasional movie thrown in there, which makes her incredibly random for a game show taped in 2017. That being said, she was actually really great at the game, as she matched three out of the four contestants on her episode, and also matched with both contestants in the Celebrity Head To Head Match.

The next bizarre choice for a celebrity panelist was a few episodes later, and it was Kenny G. Yes, you read that right. Someone who worked on Match Game in 2017 thought that a perfect celebrity to have on their comedy game show, was Kenny G, a celebrity who is literally just a saxophone player. And in a surprising turn of events, he was actually pretty good. He managed to match one contestants answer during the entire episode, in what was admittedly a very weird question that I don’t know what the answer could have been. The question was “Here’s an amazing but true fact: Kenny G is wildly popular in China. But then again, so is ___________.” The contestant said “Chinese Food,” and managed to match three celebrities who said specific Chinese foods, and Kenny G himself who actually said “Chinese Food.” He also helped the first contestant with the only answer from the panelists that was on the board for the Audience Match, and he had a funny line about why his hair is so curly, saying that he is part Jewish, part poodle.

The next bizarre choice for a celebrity panelist happened in the next season with La Toya Jackson. I know that she is part of a legendary family, and she is also an accomplished singer, but she was so out of place on the show that it was kind of funny. Here are some examples: one of the questions was “Jurassic Park has a new exhibit filled with ferocious pop stars. The other day, Taylor Swift was devoured by the diva at the top of the food chain - ______________.” The contestant and the other five panelists all guessed contemporary pop singers, while La Toya Jackson went back in time and said Patti LaBelle.

Another question was “Every spring, a huge event takes colleges by storm. It’s called March Sadness. That’s where sorority girls get empowered to put on their PJs, have a good cry, and ___________ all night.” Most of the celebrities answered “Drink,” but for some reason, La Toya Jackson answered “Have Sex,” which ended up making her the celebrity that Alec Baldwin made fun of for much of the episode.

The next bizarre choice for a celebrity panelist happened just a few episodes later with Wayne Newton. For those of you who have no idea who he is, he’s a legendary Las Vegas entertainer who has had so much plastic surgery that his face is terrifying. Don’t believe me, just Google pictures of him. Also, I am being completely honest when I say this, he had absolutely no idea where he was. He gave several terrible answers, and the only times he matched with the contestants was when they gave the same terrible answers. 

His bizarreness started right from the beginning of the episode, as the question was “Dumb Derek is so dumb, when his boyfriend said he wanted a smart-looking suit, Derek took his old jacket and glued a bunch of _____________ to it,” and for some reason his answer was “Balls.”

The second question was “Have you heard of Vito the Very Italian Vampire? Vito doesn’t say ‘I vant to suck your blood,’ he says ‘I vant to suck your ______________.’” He managed to match contestant who had said “Spaghetti Sauce,” which I admit is not the worst answer, but still, one of the few times he matched a contestant, and things are about to get weirder.

Another question on that episode was “Gwendolyn said ‘I had a real fairytale wedding, which was terrible because we had to invite the _____________.” For whatever reason, and I will never understand how this happened, the contestant and Wayne Newton both answered “Tooth Fairy.” I have no idea how that could even happen, as the question clearly was not asking for that.

At another point during the episode, Alec Baldwin went to ask Wayne Newton for his answer to a question, and as Wayne was getting ready to reveal it, Alec told him that he was about to turn over a blank card. See what I mean by he had no idea where he was?

And somehow, it doesn’t end there, as for whatever reason, both contestants who made it to the Super Match asked him for suggestions in the Audience Match, and his answer to “__________ Pad” was “My,” and his answer to “Hot ___________” was “Lips.” I literally don’t even know what either of those things mean, nor do I have any idea what they could mean. 

The next bizarre celebrity comes from the next two episodes, and it was Pamela Anderson. While I will admit that she’s not as bizarre as some of the other celebrities I have talked about, as she actually had some good answers and matched with some of the contestants, I just find her to be a bizarre choice for a panelist on a comedy game show in the year 2018.

The next bizarre celebrity was on the very next episode, and was another celebrity who had no idea where he was, legendary boxer Sugar Ray Leonard. He only matched one contestant on one question, which also happened to be about him, and from there he progressively got worse. Rather than mention everything he did on the show, I am going to mention two highlights.

First, he answered a question that he didn’t need to answer, meaning that even though he had matched the contestant in the previous round, he forgot and wrote down an answer anyway.

Then came the last question of the episode, and I literally don’t even know what happened here. The question was “Amy said ‘It’s fun being married to a carnival worker. Last night in bed, he tried a move on me called the corndog. Tonight, he promised he’d show me a new position called the ____________.’” 

Before I tell you what he said, I want all of you reading to think of an answer. It doesn’t matter what you think of, it could be an answer that makes sense with regards to the question, or you could just go crazy with your answer. The reason why I say this is because no matter what you think of, you will never in a million years guess what Sugar Ray Leonard actually said, and any crazy answer you come up with is going to be nowhere near as crazy as what he actually said. 

His answer to that question was “You Know What It Is?” 

Yes, you read that correctly. I have no idea what this means, nor how it could ever be an answer to anything, but what I do know is that it’s incredibly funny, and it led to one of the funniest quotes from Alec Baldwin: “This is going in my collection.” And after having seen behind the scenes photos on Instagram, where there was a room backstage with answer cards on the wall, he was probably telling the truth.

The next bizarre celebrity was on the episode right after that one, former baseball player Nick Swisher. I do understand part of the reason why they had him on the show, as he played for the Yankees, and the show taped in New York, but he is still a fairly obscure athlete, and viewers outside of New York probably had no idea who he was.

The next bizarre celebrity was a few episodes later, and it was Bubba Watson. For those of you who don’t know who that is, which I imagine is almost all of you reading this, he is a professional golfer. The reason why I find him being on the show so bizarre is because in my opinion, with the exception of Tiger Woods and maybe a few others, current golf players are not that famous, and there were probably a ton of viewers who didn’t know who he was at the time of the episode airing, and there are probably even less who know who he is today. It wouldn’t even surprise me if there audience members for the taping of this episode who had no idea who he was and only cheered for him because they had to. That being said, he was certainly entertaining when he was on the show, as he gave a very bizarre and terrible suggestion for the Audience Match, which was “Michelle _________.” After two celebrities gave the answers you immediately thought of, Bubba Watson said “Michelle Wie,” who is another golfer who plays on the LPGA, and was also what Alec Baldwin described as “A very head-up-your-ass answer.”

The next bizarre celebrity happened in the next season, Bebe Neuwirth from Cheers. I’m going to give you all some context behind her being a panelist on the show. In the final season of the Baldwin version, they started doing themed episodes for whatever reason, and one of those was Match Game: Code Blue, which was all celebrities who have played doctors on shows before, and as she is best known for playing a doctor, that’s why she was there. What makes her inclusion so bizarre is the fact that aside from one episode of Celebrity Jeopardy back in 2006, this is the only contemporary game show she has ever been on. She is also an interesting case, because she is another celebrity that just seemed lost throughout much of the show, but unlike some of the other examples I just talked about, she was very aware of this, and that just made things even better. 

Some examples include the fact that when Alec Baldwin was reading a question about a Grey’s Anatomy theme park, Bebe Neuwirth literally asked him if it was a real thing, and when she had to answer the question “The magazines in my doctor’s waiting room are so old, their copy of TIME has an exclusive interview with ______________,” while the other panelists answered biblical figures, Bebe Neuwirth wrote “Alec Baldwin,” which completely broke him.

The next bizarre celebrity happened a few episodes later, TV host Padma Lakshmi. While I admit that she isn’t as bizarre as some of the other celebrities I have written about, as she has been on other game shows both before and since being on Match Game, but I am not entirely sure that she knew exactly how to play the game. 

Some examples that support this include the fact that her answer to the question “Dumb Derek is so dumb, when his wife said she would like some role-playing in the bedroom, he walked in there with ___________” was “A Box Of Jelly Rolls?” Yes, she actually included a question mark at the end of her answer. I could not tell you why.

Another bizarre answer from her came from the question “Good news - if you’re over 25 and a mama’s boy, you can sign up for mommy and adult me classes. Every week, they cover cool topics like ‘Mommy does my laundry’ and ‘Mommy picks my ____________,’” and for whatever reason, her answer was “Bootie.” Yes, you are reading that correctly. I have no idea what that means, nor why she misspelled it.

Then comes an additional piece of information that I learned from a writeup from someone who was in the audience for her episode. During the time when the panelists were writing down their answers to a question, Padma Lakshmi SHOWED WHAT SHE HAD WRITTEN ON HER CARD BEFORE THE CONTESTANT HAD ANSWERED, which resulted in that question being thrown out, and another question having to be brought in, which apparently took a total of ten minutes.

And now we come to the final episode of the Baldwin version for the final bizarre celebrity choice, or should I say, celebrity choices? Yes, the final episode of the Baldwin version has not one, not two, not three, not four, not five, but SIX bizarre celebrity choices on a single episode of a game show. 

To start off, I am going to give you some context about how the shows are taped, and what I am about to say has also carried over into the Martin Short version. Every day has two or more commonly three episodes taped, and there are also one or more celebrities in two or all three episodes taped on that day.

The first two episodes that were taped on this day both featured Mario Cantone, so you would expect him to be part of the last episode as a result. Not only was he not part of the last episode, neither was anybody else at the previous two tapings. 

Another thing is that among the six celebrity panelists, it didn’t really feel like there was an “anchor panelist.” What I mean is that there were no panelists that felt like the type of regulars who keep everything grounded, or even panelists that had become recognizable as regulars after five seasons of the show.

Also, and I am saying this as someone who has seen every episode of Match Game, this episode has the most bizarre mixture of six celebrities ever. Typically, I feel like Match Game and other celebrity game shows like to get celebrities that are similar to each other and play off each other well. 

Here’s who they got for the final episode, and their claims to fame.

Horatio Sanz - former Saturday Night Live cast member.

Marilu Henner - actress known for starring in the 1970s sitcom Taxi.

Mike Colter - actor known for playing Luke Cage in the Marvel Cinematic Universe and for starring in the show Evil.

Ali Wentworth - actress, comedian, and author who is best known for being a cast member on In Living Color and for being married to George Stephanopoulos.

Justin Long - actor known for starring in several comedy movies and horror movies.

Drea de Matteo - actress known for starring in The Sopranos. 

So just to recap, the final episode of Match Game featured an SNL alum, a 70s sitcom star, a Marvel Cinematic Universe Netflix star, a comedian and author whose husband works at ABC, an actor who has been in so many movies that you have definitely seen his face, and one of the stars of The Sopranos. See what I mean by it is the most bizarre mix of celebrity panelists imaginable?

And what makes it even more bizarre is that with the exception of Justin Long, the other five panelists have either been on very few or no other game shows since this episode. For some of them its kind of obvious if you know anything about them, like Horatio Sanz or Drea de Matteo, but Marilu Henner has only been on one episode of Celebrity Family Feud, Ali Wentworth has only shown up on one episode of The $100,000 Pyramid and Celebrity Wheel Of Fortune since, and somehow never been on Celebrity Family Feud, and Mike Colter has just stopped making game show appearances.

I am really curious as to the thought process of the producers with how they chose the panelists for this episode. I feel like they had a bunch of celebrities in mind to be supporting panelists on other episodes, but they couldn’t get any of their main regulars for this episode, and Mario Cantone had to be somewhere after the previous two episodes, and there was no guarantee there would be another season, so they just decided to put them all on one episode, resulting in the final episode of the Baldwin version being “Oops! All Supporting Panelists!” 

So yes, those are all the bizarre choices for celebrity panelists on the Alec Baldwin version of Match Game! I hope you all enjoyed reading this blog post, and I’ll see you all soon with another one!